Online class stories of my niece during COVID-19

She was supposed to start her new session in grade 9 this year.

Not everyone in the class attends a zoom call for studying.

Those who have internet and device accessibility can join a zoom call.

Only half of the students attend class.

They will have classes only for Maths, Science, Nepali and social studies.

Some day:

The teacher will have a problem with their internet and the class got canceled.

Some day:

The teacher arrives 10 minutes later in the zoom call and leaves early.

Some day:

The teacher will teach for 15 minutes and they chat with each other like in class. 

Some day:

The teacher does not know how to get connected on zoom call so sents messages to everyone and waits for the next teacher to gather everyone in a zoom call.

Some day:

The teacher feels sick and no one replaces the class for him.

Some day:

She (my niece) has to go through the power cut because of heavy rain and storm. If no power there's no class.

Some day:

My phone runs out of charge and she could not attend class.

Some day:

She goes to visit her parents and doesn't attend class.

Math teacher

He shows how to solve problems in the paper and send pictures of solved problems on messenger.

Schooling and Alternative to Violence

The classroom was pin-drop silence and the only voice in a classroom of fifty students teacher was the only one making sound delivering the lecture for that particular class. Not even a single sush from the students’ side. And the sole reason for that silence was two and a half-inch long stick inside the classroom. If silence was not maintained one student getting beaten up would make the continued silence for sure in that particular class for the rest of the year. I do not properly remember the slaps I got from teachers or even from the parents when I was at school-going age.

News of student getting beaten up till death is not very old news. The news came because a child died or got bruises or fractured hand then only came to news. But there are many students getting beaten up on a daily basis nevertheless that is not covered in the news merely because of the degree of the impact on a child’s body. The consequences of such punishment remain throughout the life of a child’s mental pictures. There have been distinctive reported cases of physical punishment in various articles and journals on the national level but where is the solution for these issues apart from blaming policies.

According to WHO every form of physical, emotional ill-treatment, sexual abuse, neglect or any exploitation that has direct and indirect harm on a child’s health survival, development or dignity in relation to the relationship, trust or power is defined as the abuse on the child. Since corporal punishment is a form of physical violence, Nepal abolished corporal punishment in 2018. The children, parents, and members of educational institutes are more aware of the consequences of corporal punishment. There has been increasing awareness of media, non-governmental organizations and different school associations on child rights in terms of corporal punishment.

In my recent participation on training on child safeguarding, I have found that there are similar saying in many countries that resembles our popular saying “laat ko bhoot baat le mandaina”. Corporal punishment exists in many places but only the difference is the degree of harm. In recent teachers’ training on mental health facilitated by my friend many teachers were curious to know about corporal punishment’s alternatives. They raised the point which is valid, if they do not punish  children the classroom sometimes it will be a mess. Not in all cases but some said children are taking their rights for granted and teachers do not have any options rather than let them do whatever they were doing. Or else the easiest way is to discipline them is to beat them up. If not what are the alternative of punishment in our country?

At the moment various educational institutes have recruited the counselor as a medium to reduce violence and abuse as both curative and preventive intervention for indiscipline actions in Nepal. But In many countries apart from counseling, there are certain activities to do when students go beyond the boundaries of the discipline. As shared by some of my friends, some students get to clean some parts of the school, go to the community and perform some social service to get the points they required. Some countries have animal therapy to go to stable and clean horse manure or feeding horses. I have heard of plant therapy, where a punished student helps in gardening. Some do service in the school canteen for certain hours as a punishment for going beyond the conduct that school has set. But here comes the real question that teachers and education providers are questing for alternatives of violence in our context. What are the alternatives for violence in our country? Of course not going back to violence in order to maintain discipline and making them responsible for their deeds.

Therefore, the abolishment of corporal punishment is a pretty big thing to achieve but just the abolishment might have left the situation incomplete. Because it does not provide any alternatives or solutions apart from saying stop corporal punishment. No doubt children should learn in a better environment of love and proper care but what if there are not any consequences for their misconduct or harm they have caused? How do they organize their life in terms of their growth in real life? But this issue ends with many uncertain questions such as who comes up with the plan for an alternative to violence? It is a particular school, national and international organization working for children, school associations, community or the government? Or we should go back to punishing for student’s deed in the class room or who knows if the punishment is still there within the school boundary?

Social Work

During my ,previous job one of my colleague told me I will never tell any of my relatives to study Social Work Degree because of not have any expertise in any sector and no more scope to work in society. I did not react but this statement made me think about the social work and the profession associated with it.

Recently, visited one reputed organization working for children, there were the social work trainee waiting for children to come their mere job is to take care of children during day time like “Nanny”. I have heard that some of the students have to clean the filthy toilets of some organizations too. When I was student of social work during my bachelor level I have been through the same situation not to the extent of Nanny but more or less working like volunteer in an organization.

The social workers can work beyond nanny or the mere cleaner. The social workers have variety of things to do; to work on counseling for the victims, meeting with parents/family, administration and to find out the needs of victims, work for fund raising and more importantly be the bridge between the family, client and organization in need.

My response to my dear colleague, in Nepal there is still mismatch between profession that we are into and degree that we have. People hardly get job in the subject they have mastered in. " My own brother used to be the student of Humanities, now he is working in the field of hospitality management and even dabbles in his office's account section too. I have seen many engineers working in the different types of NGOs in a position that have nothing to do with their field of study." (The degree divide, 2010)

In Nepal there still lacks the particular specialization in social work in academy or degree and less concept of corporate, industrial and clinical Social work where social worker can work. Moreover there is still confusion among people regarding the difference between social work and social service.

Unusual Judgment

Once a poet from Nepal went to a foreign country to take part in a conference of poets. The security guard did not let him in because he thought he was a gatecrasher. Later on at the programme, when it was time to present the felicitation, the poet changed into formal attire and went to the venue. This time the guard let him. The sole reason the poet was not allowed to enter before was because

he was not wearing a suit, tie and shining black shoes like the others. This is not a story about an unknown citizen, but the great poet Laxmi Prasad Devkota. I heard this story from our teacher when I was in school.

Just two years ago, we were at a programme which had been organised in one of the famous schools in Lalitpur. The beauty of the programme was that everyone was speaking English and most of them were Nepalis. Overall, we enjoyed the programme. Finally, it was time for high tea. We were at the back planning for our programme when one of the Nepalis came and told us to take high tea in pure Nepali with an American accent as if we did not understand English. We replied in English, and he was having different non-verbal action that we were familiar with spoken English like his. The reason for his Nepali may be we were wearing a simple kurtha which is compulsory during our field work.

A similar thing happened just this week. We were in a café discussing our exams, and the waiter was not giving a single glance at the women who were in a similar condition like ours which I mentioned above. Though the women were calling him again and again, he was busy serving high standard guests.

These stories I mentioned above remind me of a saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” I would like to ask those who believe in the price tags of fancy branded clothes and shining shoes. Yes, in some cases, we need to judge people’s personality by their grooming and all; but is it always fair to compare the dress and people?

These things can happen at different shopping centres too. When a customer comes in wearing a different type of attire than that of the people living in the city, the shopkeeper does not treat them properly and hesitates to show the materials asked.

Everyone pays for what they need, so why do shopkeepers behave differently towards those people, why do waiters ignore them and why do intelligent men act differently towards us? Was Devkota a poet only when he wore a suit, tie and shining shoes? Of course not, he was a poet with or without a tie, suit and shoes. Nevertheless, the outer covering is what is valued and respected rather that the person wearing it.

A woman's Worth

Tears rolled down my face after reading the news that a rural woman was murdered because her family was unable to provide the television and buffalo for her dowry. By the time the crime was reported her husband and in-laws had already escaped from the village.  This is not the first time I read such news. But this time I asked myself what the groom’s family got after she died. The answer, of course, is nothing. So what was the worth of this murder? Even worse, for every report like this that we read in the news, there are probably many more that never come to light.

Two years back there was a marriage ceremony planned in my neighbourhood. Everything was prepared and just four or five days remained before the wedding when the groom’s family demanded a motorcycle and some jewelry. The bride’s family had no choice but to fulfill the demands made at the 11th hour. As both families were educated residents of Kathmandu, such demands could be met and the crisis that befell the poor bride mentioned earlier averted. Still, one has to be surprised that such dowry demands are even made by the educated of Kathmandu. The system seems to be prevalent everywhere, but different economic and social circumstances determine how it plays out.

Traditionally, parents used to give something like fuli, earrings or, some land if they have it, to their daughter before her marriage so that she could use these things when in need. The concept of dowry developed from these origins. But the dowry system has evolved as our communities have.

The fear of dowry has now become so great that many parents can no longer feel joy at the birth of a daughter. I have even heard that if the groom is a doctor or engineer, the bride’s family has to pay the amount spent on his studies as a dowry. This is a consideration for parents in deciding when their daughter should marry. Better to do so young, before the groom has a chance to earn such an expensive degree.

I am a girl. There is no denying that I will one day get married. So which material thing should I compare my life with? A television? A motorcycle? Jewelry? Or is my life worth the buffalo that cost the young bride hers?

Why are a woman’s education, skills and achievements not counted as part of the dowry her family pays to the family of the groom? Why must the couple’s happiness depend on what material things she can collect from her maternal home? Why must women continue to belittle their worth and risk their lives in the name of dowry? In time, a couple can buy a television, a motorcycle or even a buffalo. But we can’t return value to a life lost.